he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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