AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I want her autograph on my taint
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
