I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Randomize
