Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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