Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Someone signed my nipple.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
