how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
