I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
