Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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