Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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