Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
