Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The air was thick with penises
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
