is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
