im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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