are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The adults are the big ones right?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
