Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
