I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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