$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
