When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
