The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
