doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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