would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
