How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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