I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
