My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
