So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Your cock deserves a montage
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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