we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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