I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I will pee on everything he values.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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