a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
where are my pants?
in the oven.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
