Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
