Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
