I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Congratulations! We have a period
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
