between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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