Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
