can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
