I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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