hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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