we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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