I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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