I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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