This girl is more easily done than said...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
