If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
