Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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