I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
