somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
