what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
