i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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