I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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