Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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