Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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