We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
